Final Essay #1

Kelsey Hammond

English 101

Exam #1

High school was hard for me – in fact, it's hard for almost everybody. Those awkward years of trying to figure out who you really are and the type of people you fit in with, only to have it ripped apart when you reach college; it's a terrifying time in everyone's life, especially if you don't have many friends. High school was hard for me for 3 reasons; 1) I hated everyone at my school. The girls were mean, the boys were stupid, and the staff favoured the mean and the dumb. 2) My best friend had moved away, leaving me alone. I had my boyfriend, who is now my best friend, but the sting was still the same. 3) My French 3 class was literally full of people who were friends with each other.

But let's rewind a little. Before we discuss the hell of French 3, I need to describe my other classes. I didn't have particularly hard subjects – in fact, they were pretty easy for me. I was taking three AP classes (English, Photography, and Psychology), and I did very well in them. The fact that I didn't like anyone in the school didn't hurt my grades one bit.

I had lunch after third period (Photography), and I always dreaded going to French 3 right after. Complaining to my twin sister and my boyfriend, Josh, never really helped much with my frustration. I hated going, and I thought nothing was going to change that.

The class was really small – people wise and space wise. There was only maybe 15 kids in my class, but we had the portable room outside with the wasps nest right hanging over the door. We all had assigned seats that my teacher, Mme Haveman, would change every month or so. That was fine and all, but it also meant that I couldn't just sit in the corner away from everyone like I wanted. No, fate would decide to have me sit literally in the middle of the room surrounded by people I really could care less about.

In any other class, this wouldn't have bothered me that much. I would just ignore everyone and talk to my boyfriend or my sister. But, alas, I didn't have either of them in my class. Most of the time, I tried to not talk to or acknowledge anyone sitting near me, but Mme Haveman loved to have us talk in broken French to each other.

To top it all off, everyone was friends with each other. I am not joking. Normally, it wouldn't really bother me that no one in a class would talk to me, but my teacher always tried so hard to pair me up with people to do projects with. I understand that she was looking out for me and probably felt bad that I didn't have any friends, but I didn't want to talk to these people, especially the girl who sat next to me who would boast about going to Sweden with her family every summer. I just smiled my way through it though, and did my best to be nice to these classmates that I hated. People usually didn't like Mme Haveman because she was very strict (she had also replaced our old French teacher, Mr Johnson) and didn't take BS from anyone, which caused kids to talk bad about her behind her back. I liked her because I thought she was doing a good job at filling an old teachers shoes, and I always said kind things about her to Josh and my sister.

One day, Mme Haveman was absent from school. We had a substitute teacher, and I think you can figure out how class went that day – no one sat in their assigned seat, no work was done, and everyone pretty much goofed off. Personally, I just sat in the corner, turned on my iPod and ignored everyone. Oh, I did the classwork. And the homework. Then I did homework for my other classes. I actually got caught up with all my other classes, so it didn't really bother me much that no one was talking to me. To be honest, I quite enjoyed it, even if I was a bit bored by the end of the period.

Well, the next day, Mme Haveman came back from being sick. She was mad at the class, mainly because the sub had left a note saying that the whole class had just goofed off, except for a couple of people. To be honest, I kind of tuned her out because I knew she wasn't talking about me. I started on my classwork while she lectured the other kids.

It wasn't until she said the words, “It is not right to leave one person out in the whole class,” that I realized she was talking about me. I tried not to think about it and kept working.

Class went on as normal. We all learned some French that I can't remember today anyway, but it was still a normal class. Then, class ended. I always breathed a sigh of relief when class ended, because my next period was AP Psychology, which I loved.

That day was not my lucky day though. Mme Haveman asked me to stay after class. It's not that I didn't like her, but staying after class never meant anything good.

She waited for everyone else to leave the classroom before turning to me from her desk and simply asked, “How are you doing today?”

I was even more confused. Why did she have to wait for everyone to be gone just to ask me how my day was? “I'm fine.” I replied.

Her face became a little more serious. I was starting to get a little nervous now. Teachers had always made me slightly weary, and I really hate getting in trouble with them. It seemed like she was collecting her thoughts, so I waited patiently for her to continue.

After a couple seconds, she began talking again. “It's just, you know, the sub left a note about everyone, and I was worried about you.”

Then it hit me. She wasn't mad at me, she wasn't lecturing me, she wasn't blaming me. She was worried about me. Mme Haveman knew that the sub had been talking about me in the note; she realized that the whole class had left me out. She was mad at them for doing that to me. My French teacher just lectured everyone about leaving me out.

I can't for the life of me remember what I said to her after that. I think it's because I was so amazed that a teacher, someone who literally knew next to nothing about me, stood up for me. I do remember crying about it later, though, because it meant to much to me that she did that. Even Josh was surprised at what she had said to those kids.

Never in my life had a teacher stood up so totally completely for me. I don't think a teacher will every do that again.

Mme Haveman was really nice to me for the rest of the year, always asking how I was doing, or what my plans for summer were, or asking how my boyfriend was doing. Of course, I warmed up to her right away – she was a very nice person, and people just didn't give her credit for it.

My classmates attitude changed after that. They included me more - while Mme Haveman was there, forcing us to be in groups doing projects together. I eventually realized that it was all for show, but I found that I didn't really care either way what they thought of me.  

The thing that really stuck with me about this whole experience is that someone really stood up for me in a way no one had done before. This wasn't just my best friend telling the class bully to leave me alone – this was a teacher telling a whole group of students to be nice to me. Not even my own mother had done that before, and here was this new, young teacher (who was probably worried about people liking her at her new job) stood up for me

You may be wondering – what did I learn from this? What was the life lesson Mme Haveman taught me? Well, I learned that the most unlikely people may be looking out for you. Believing a teacher wouldn't care about how their students are doing is the wrong mindset. Teachers do care; you just need to give them a chance to show it. I don't suggest, however, to put yourself through bullying in order to recieve this treatment. It's just merely a reminder to kids that teachers are there to help you and are there to listen to your problems - either personal or educational.

I also learned that what those kids were doing – ignoring me and purposefully leaving me out – was a form of bullying. Before this incident in French 3, I never really saw ignoring people as a form of bullying. When I was in Elementary school, they didn’t really teach us that ignoring kids on purpose was a form of bullying – that was something that came about later, when I was too old to really care about it. But now that I’m much older, I do understand and realize how much it can hurt people.